The Bag Lady Becomes Enlightened

August 4, 2007

The journey to enlightenment is a difficult one and one of the fastest ways to get there is by living next to a dumpster. You will be forced to fight off the seagulls for each scrap of food, and looked upon as insane by those that don’t understand your purpose. But you must go on dumpster diving until you become blessed with enlightenment. One of the pilgrims that have taken this holy journey is a twenty five year old woman that is an honor graduate from an Ivy League college in Cambridge. Her spiritual training was received in a monastery in the hills of San Diego. Her kind Guru was the one that led her to the dumpster, he told her that the dumpster was a gift from Buddha and had been responsible for the enlightenment of over twenty pilgrims. She thanked him and then dove into the dumpster and retrieved a half eaten ham sandwich, and a warm can of ginger ale. For two years she has been living next to the dumpster waiting for a deliverance that is late in arriving.


  One of the vows that she took before leaving the monastery was to help guide those that have lost their way and get them back on the path to spiritual growth. She folded up her blanket and shined up her harmonica and marched off to the business district. Dressed in layers of raggedy clothes and wearing two floppy hats the bag lady spread out her blanket, and started to play the harmonica. She did a fast jig to an Irish polka as crowds started to form around her. The blanket was soon covered with coins and dollars. After thanking her audience, the money and the blanket were put into a knapsack, and she was on her way to downtown L.A.


The sidewalks and stoops were occupied by young people staring into space. There was a deathly silence in the streets; it was a mini-world of the living dead. The sounds of an Irish polka filled the air, it was the bag lady playing her harmonica, as she played she was doing a high spirited jig, her display of energy awakened those that were spread out on the streets, and they opened their eyes. She jigged down a path to the bus terminal and was followed by a crowd of dancing men and women. They instinctively knew that they were being led to a better world. At the terminal there were four busses charted by the bag lady, they were soon filled by her followers. The busses were then off to the hills of San Diego and the monastery where she received her spiritual training.


There was a cool breeze in the parking lot where the dumpster was parked and on the top of a pile of empty cartons something was shining. It was a large delicious looking peach. As she bit into it brightness filled her mind and she knew that she had reached her goal. It was now time to return to her family and a new life.